May 2021

How Perspective Can Change Your Life

My Explant Journey Pt. 2

Perspective typically comes into play when we’re facing a health issue.

Maybe it’s perspective on our life if, God forbid, we don’t wake up from surgery (or am I the only one who spazzes about going under anesthesia?)

Maybe it’s our perspective on a lifestyle that led us to deal with a health issue in the first place.

Maybe it’s perspective on our current priorities.

Perspective can hurt us, or perspective can heal us.

All of this perspectiveness came to light prior to my surgery to remove my breast implants. Being told I would be left with, as my doctor explained, “Zero breast tissue” —basically just saggy nips! (Sorry if that’s TMI, ha) But I realized I had a choice on how I could handle the news — and the impending body change.

I could be super upset about ‘losing’ my boobs, or celebrate my time with them, throw a Bye- Bye-Booby Party, and on the way to the hospital, crank up a feel-good song and flash a truck driver, appreciating the fact I had a ‘good run.’ 😉

I could blame society for ‘pressuring’ me into the breast implants or recognize it was me who allowed others to influence me — and then figure out why I allowed it.

I could head into the surgery scared and worried or pray and know that God will be near and get me through.

I could focus on my scarred, ugly boobs or be thankful I was finally free from the foreign objects my body had been fighting for so long!

And I could feel unsexy and ‘less’ of a woman or realize I am not my boobs. Sexiness is born of attitude! What people will see is not my boobs but my attitude.

The challenge here is that I grew up craving empathy and even felt an odd satisfaction when anyone took pity on me. Our behaviors are based on patterns developed in childhood, and my entire life, I’ve craved attention — in any way I could get it — even if it was pity! But with my transformation these past few years, I’ve come to realize I feel a much better ‘satisfaction’ when I handle challenges with positivity and gratitude. It takes effort for sure, especially breaking those old patterns, but now I’ve come to crave the feeling of peace and satisfaction that comes with redirecting my thinking when faced with making choices*.

My kids have been a huge inspiration, too. Sadly, they grew up mostly with the ‘former choice’ mom. I want them to see change IS possible in people. And knowing my kids are watching, I know which mom I want them to see.

*There’s a great book that helps redirect our thinking by Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts.

An example that may help get you thinking:

You’re at the airport, your flight gets canceled, and you have to wait four hours for the next flight. You have two choices. You can get angry and yell at the gate agent and demand to get on an earlier flight, causing a scene, or you can accept it’s out of your control, head to the bookstore, and find a good book that you might not have otherwise had the chance to read.

Which person do you want the world (and your kids) to see?

Which choice will ultimately make you feel better inside?

(Full disclosure, I was totally the angry person in the past. And while it felt good initially to get my anger out, it felt like sh*t later!)

It’s been such a process, and I am by no means perfect with my choices 😉 but I hope by sharing my experience, it may help you see how powerful perspective can be. xo

Notice the smile with a hot celebrity …….. and notice the smile post-explant.  Which one do I look happier?  😉